Many cultures around the world and throughout human history have practiced ritual sacrifice. They kill something of value to them and offer it as a gift to the gods. Through such sacrifice, they express their devotion to something that is more important to them.
Most of us in modern Western culture have given up these ways.
When we think of sacrifice, we perhaps imagine sacrificing our own needs, peace, and well-being to provide for our family or do good in the world. Modern sacrifice has become about sacrificing ourselves for something beyond ourselves.
But there’s another version of modern sacrifice that’s much more helpful: We sacrifice what we like for what we truly love. We sacrifice commitments in our lives that are moderately important and valuable for whatever is most important and valuable.
We let go of the commitments in our lives that feel important or valuable, but are not essential to our sense of well-being, fulfillment, and purpose. We learn to become a default “no” to all new opportunities coming toward us. Any opportunity must meet a high bar to become a “yes.”
We continue doing this, even ruthlessly so, until all that’s left is the essential, the beating heart of what’s meaningful in our lives.
What distinguishes this from the typical modern sacrifice is that it actually bolsters our well-being. Through it, we dredge out all the muck clogging our system, finally allowing ourselves to sink into the deep, resilient equanimity of the ocean within.
And yet, this process does not work at its fullest unless it brings with it a true sense of loss, a real grief, for everything we must say no to. It won’t really work unless it actually hurts. Not like slapping ourselves in the face. But more like saying goodbye to your family so you can go on an adventure. Or breaking up with someone you love dearly, but just isn’t right for you anymore.
This is among the antihero’s core practice. Not a heroic giving ourselves and our sanity up for the world. Not a feverish striving to do it all. Working less. Doing fewer things. Giving up what is lesser in ourselves, so that we can finally build our capacity for true peace, so that we can fully give ourselves to what’s truest, most vital, most ours to give.
Unsexy. Unglamorous. And absolutely essential to getting to the roots of the burnout society, of the polycrisis itself.
